Apr. 3rd, 2010

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This is a really shit session because I'm having to find my own voice after three months of having to match to Damon's. My singing voice is completely different than before. It's also my first session almost completely in changing the tempos and speeds, so.. PFFFF.

Anyway I was asked to upload a session and I said I'd do part of tonight's, so, uh.


Ignore the random blank spots because I don't edit sessions. Or other obvious mistakes. Yeah. XD;

awakening_dreams: short skirt, long legs (Default)
I don't like Shijima anymore. And I don't really understand how anyone can.
awakening_dreams: short skirt, long legs (Default)
last year i had no idea what to do with my life.

this year i am preparing a room to be kept in even air conditions at all times and when i'm finished, to eventually house a clarinet for pat, and for me a keytar, sitar, electric viola, electric guitar, clavinet, synthesizer and melodica.

i have no idea where i'm going with all of this. i've only got half the puzzle.

but damn if i'm not loving it.
awakening_dreams: short skirt, long legs (Default)
Huh. I found out that she's been going on for months about how I'm a terrible person. Some sort of mantra to assure herself that she's not. That she was going out with someone while going out with me. I wonder if they knew.

That she was also with the same girlfriend while telling me she loved me enough to want to marry me eventually and only wanted me and Patrick. Hm. And with a girlfriend while telling everyone else she could not have one ue to an inability to cope with such a relationship. That if Patrick and I were "really two people", we ought to be dating because we are so close as siblings. This is all very interesting. I don't really care all that much.

What I care about is that apparently she kept criticizing my playing of Kaworu behind my back and praising him to my face, asking for him every night, ect. Yes, I've made certain choices with him that other players have not. But each player does that, since there is so little of us. If asked, I can back up any choice I've made for him with a tl;dr two, three pages long, at least. Therefore: why not ask?

I don't list out my whys for him because it would take about thirty pages. The only out of character things that have happened - ones that I actually had to ask [livejournal.com profile] ranfromrain to give me advice on how to get out of - were caused by Amber's direct involvement. I'm slowly fixing them, now. The rest? Well. I'll write out that guide. We'll see if it's too damn long for anyone to want to read. It needs chapter markers, that says to me it is too much? But then, that may help people find what they are looking for, of course.

I'm proud of where I've taken him, and nobody will ever break those feelings for me.

Especially not her.


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